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How to be non judgemental? How can I stop judging as I see it spoils relationship and peace?

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You cant, No one can, Everyone has a two sides to them that which is acceptable and that which is not to their belief system of what is right and what is wrong.

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These are sometimes referred to as the core condition because all are necessary to create a safe, comfortable environment in which the person will talk more openly.

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or to simply get them to let their guard down,